Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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