Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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