Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
