He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
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i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
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Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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