Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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