it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Randomize
