I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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