I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
