Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
