K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
