yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
