If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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