Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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