I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
