Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
