More tranny stories later!
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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