You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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