I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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