im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
