You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
