So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
