if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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