I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I need to calm my uterus...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
