She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
