I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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