Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
