If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
