i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
