He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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