think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
