i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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