how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
