is your mom at the bar?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
this just has baby written all over it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
