got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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