the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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