we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
