Moan for me like Helen Keller
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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