Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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