if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize