I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
