So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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