I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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