We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
