I am puke
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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