hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
