tell your sister to shave her snatch
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
