If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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