thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm passing your future prison.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
