carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
