Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
3pm strippers are depressing
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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