He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize