I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
she told me i tasted like america
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
