the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
