Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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