Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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