Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
