Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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