well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
