Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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