im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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